7 Types of sex

Discussion in 'Archive' started by mou731ray, May 16, 2008.

  1. mou731ray

    mou731ray New Member

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    I -----SOCIAL SECURITY SEX

    Two men were talking. So, how's your sex life?' 'Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex.' 'Social Security sex?' 'Yeah, you know-I get a little
    each month, but not enough to live on


    II -----LOUD SEX

    A wife went in to see a therapist and said, 'I've got a big problem, doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting
    yell.' 'My dear,' the shrink said, 'that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is.' 'The problem is,' she complained, 'It wakes me up!'


    III -----QUIET SEX

    Tired of a lifeless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking, 'How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?' She
    looked at him casually and replied, 'You're never home!'


    IV -----CONFOUNDED SEX

    A man was in a terrible accident, and his 'manhood' was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his
    manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for 'small,' $6,500 for
    'medium,' and $14,000 for 'large.' The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any
    decision. The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected. 'Well, what
    have the two of you decided?' asked the doctor.

    The man answered, 'She'd rather remodel the kitchen'.


    V ------WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX

    A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 39th wedding anniversary. The husband yells, 'When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife-Cold As Ever'.' 'Yeah,' she replies, 'When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: Here Lies My Husband-Stiff At Last.'


    VI ---NO SEX

    My husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and said, 'This will make you happy tonight.' He was right. When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs. He couldn't get back in.


    VII ---- OLD SEX

    One night an 87 yr old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92 yr. old husband in bed with another woman. She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor assisted livingapartment...killing him instantly.

    Brought before the court on a charge of murder. The judge asked her if she had anything to say in her defense. She said coolly, 'Yes, your Honor, I figured that at 92, if he could have sex.....he could fly.'
    :sim12::rap:
     
  2. yoqdidy

    yoqdidy New Member

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    :heyo::girl_cray2: no one else has replied i see, but i thought most were very good cause some are true to life, they brought a smile to my face cheers
     
  3. haniluluk

    haniluluk New Member

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    These were good. thanks for the share!!!
     
  4. danneh90

    danneh90 New Member

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    The last one was the best :Just_Cuz_08:
     
  5. sogerihone

    sogerihone New Member

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    Thank you, real funny stuff
     
  6. self2

    self2 New Member

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    Good ones! LOL
     
  7. wqgqpkqh

    wqgqpkqh Guest

    LOLNICE 1 DUDE

    thanks...
     
  8. dearsun

    dearsun Guest

    i like the confounded sex the most.
    lol.
    thanks.
     
  9. henry809

    henry809 Guest

    lmafo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  10. bradlislags

    bradlislags Guest

    Thank you, real funny stuff
     
  11. boided

    boided Guest

    :heyo::heyo:
     
  12. Sephiroth

    Sephiroth Guest

    :h020::h020::h020::h020::h020:
     
  13. grim

    grim Guest

    luv it,thanx:read::read:
     

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